Perhaps you have seen it in the class of 2023 act during the Variety Show, or on the TV in the front office. It is widely-known that Pine View School has been undefeated in football since 1969. You may be wondering how we maintained this phenomenal achievement with precision and next-level athletic prowess. According to ninth-grader Ethan Kim, the credit goes to our “top-tier” football players.
“No one can even challenge our football team,”
– twelfth-grader Sahil Agarwal
The big secret?
Lying by omission.
Spoiler alert, we don’t have a football team. We never have.
“No one can even challenge our football team,” twelfth-grader Sahil Agarwal said. That is certainly right Sahil, no one can challenge something that doesn’t exist. In fact, we’ve never even had a football field on campus in the past 53 years.
You might be wondering what other options you have for high school sports besides football. Surprise! We don’t have basketball, track and field, volleyball, lacrosse, swimming, soccer, nor any other high school sports besides… our renowned Disc Golf club. We hope you like throwing frisbees. Stay tuned for a full article covering our Disc Golf Club in the next issue of The Torch. For now, shoot those three-pointers and get those touchdowns vicariously through our Academic Olympic teams.
Sincerely,
Your resident full-time nerds, part-time sports commentators, Felicity and Isabella
